Rugby League as I know it is dead.
The rot started when they first took away the baggy cotton jumpers in favour of dressing in skin tight lycra – like a Jazz Ballet troop.
The whole game has gone soft – with so many rule changes that fans no longer understand the sport.
Shoulder charges have been banned altogether – with an explicit exception of certain players for certain teams, in certain circumstances (which no one – except the judiciary understand).
Punching has been banned altogether – however, shirt-pulling and dirty looks are allowed, as is creating a ‘melee’ as seen in various other soft, non-contact sports.
There is also a strict addendum to this rule – Broncos players are free to kick with their foot, any other player they encounter hindering their forward progress.
There is now a new, secret algorithm used to determine what constitutes a legitimate try – with a randomly generated variable which is strictly secured and disclosed only to the inhabitants of The Bunker on game day. No one else should have any clue as to the nature of said algorithm – but must stand by the big chicken sign to hear the Bunker God’s determination.
I read recently that the company that makes Lego almost went broke – lost $292 Million in one year. This was due to trying to over-innovate and keep up with the emergence of computer games etc. They increased the colour of bricks from 6 to 50, and had multiple new forms etc.
They got a new CEO in – who took it back to basics, cut out all the new sh!t.
The following year they made $117 Million profit!
This is what the league need to do.
1. Choose a single team jersey – cotton man clothes – you cannot alter this strip for 5 years.
(So we all know at a glance, which two teams are playing)
2. A single referee who makes decisions that the common man understands – if it looks like a try, it’s a try.
3. Fill in The Bunker with gravel – and 8 inches of concrete on top so the f@ckers can’t get out
4. Bring back the Biff. (Not spear tackles or dangerous play – just one on one harmless punch-ups. Penalise the participants by all means – it might stop the unsportsmanlike petty hair ruffling when someone f@cks up).
5. Don’t change the rules in the last 5 minutes of a game, or Golden Point. Offside is offside, always.
6. Have a qualified Judiciary (or any bloke off the street) who examine the facts as they are and punish accordingly, and consistently.
Just take it back to a point where fans, commentators, referees and players all share an understanding of the simple rules FFS.