Down South (9.11.2007)
Well, I think we had covered about 65 metres out front of the airport before I started arguing with Dad – he’s a natural born stirrer and knows all the buttons to push. As annoying as we seem to be to each other, I’m guessing he misses such senseless banter as much as I do, when I ‘m away – so it’s all in good fun!
We lobbed to my sister Donk’s place at around 7:30am – I was on the sponge for a bit of brekky but more importantly, to see the kids before they went to school. There was hugs and kisses all round and much excitement – mostly from me! I wasn’t in the door ten seconds before little 2 year old Indy dragged me inside to see her new Big-Girls’ Dora-The-Explorer bed. You wouldn’t believe how impressed I was with the three-quarter sized, pink painted rack, complete with a transfer of some little girl with an over-size head and outlandishly large eyeballs! I made more of a fuss over that bed, than I would a new Ferrari. Indy was justifiably proud of herself, so we went out to have a cuppa and a bite. Donk made me a couple of ham, tomato and cheese toasted sandwiches, which were very nice, though I suspect she cut the block of cheese with an axe!
I volunteered to join the crew, as we dropped Bailey and Taliah off at school, which is about an hour’s round trip – so we had a good chat on the way. Johnny-Boy (Donk’s husband) advised me that Macaroni Family Fun night was gonna be in full swing that night, what with this being Friday and all, and I was very much looking forward to having a few drinks with the mob.
In the end, after about lunch time, the lack of sleep got the better of me and I succumbed to a Nanny Nap. I think it went for about 3 hours but it seemed to do the trick.
I found myself back round Donk’s early in the evening, with a bottle of Wild Turkey and thirst for Johnny’s beer. I must say that we hit the deck a runnin’ that night and had all sorts of visitors drop by as well. The strangest of which, were the new guys next door. See, the long-term residents next door were a fantastic, friendly and enthusiastically social mob, who’d regularly slip over the fence for a beer and a yarn. They had two beautiful daughters who’d also grace the place with their presence and all in all, they were a joy to be around.
Sadly, a few months before I got there, they’d pulled up stumps and headed for Ballina – all except for Mandy, who stayed in Sydney.
Now, as it turned out, the new guys that bought the place next door happened to be old neighbours of mine from ten years before, in an adjacent suburb – who also used to drop into my old place for an occasional beer – Bob Down & family. They’d bought this new place for their son, Corey – who I hadn’t seen for years – and now had a girlfriend and a swag of tin-lids.
Anyway, I discovered myself most excited that night, because on top of all the family and surprise guests, Mandy too had come for a visit. She’s been in-like with a young buck, Steve, for some time now and, I imagine under much sufferance, she managed to drag him along to our little celebration as well.
Corey, new-guy from next door, introduced himself to an unsuspecting Mandy:
“Hi – I’m Corey, I live next door”
So I replied “This is Mandy – she used to”
Corey was then struck by the irony of using such a line to one of the legendary, original “Next-Doors”. It was a quite an amusing little interlude.
So later in the night, I lost the plot and was drinking both Wild Turkey and beer at the same time – which I inexplicably referred to as Snake-Eyes. Then Johnny’s parents showed up and joined the fray, after a night at the Golf club.
At one stage I recall trying to take a photo with my digital camera of myself and Taliah, my 15 year old sober niece. I couldn’t quite work out why the flash didn’t go off (until a few days later, when I realised I’d taken a video instead, and caught the whole slurring, mumbling confusion about the flash!).
By the time I left and headed to the oldies for a sleep, I was too far gone to even consider a sobering Kebab – so I just hopped in the cab and went home.
Something was buzzing, there was some weird tune screaming in my head – The Great Escape Theme!
“What the? Where the hell am I? Is that the phone? What’s going on?”
Then my mind kicked into gear – it was daylight, my phone was ringing, so I picked it up “Hello?”
“How ya garn? Where are ya?”
“In bloody bed mate! Where are you?”
“Out the front of your place – I’ve been knocking on the door for 10 minutes. Are ya gettin’ up?”
“Yeah – I s’pose so. Hang on”
It was the Boneman, with his wife and kids come to visit.
Mum had taken the old fella shopping, so I was alone in the house.
I was wrecked. My brain was screaming, my eyes revolving on stems and my body shaking.
I let them in.
I couldn’t find where mum hid the aspros.
I sat chatting, blinking and rubbing my head, trying to get the dehydrated molasses-thick blood to recommence circulation round my person.
It didn’t work.
I knew I must have finished that bottle of Turkey last night – which really scared me.
……….About a week later, I was back in Johnny’s garage and found the remnants of the ‘Turkey – there was only about 3 inches from the top missing!
I’d hardly had any! I was absolutely astounded! It must have just been the lack of sleep, good company and excitement of the occasion that led to my downfall. I can live with that!